Blogmas # 10 + 11 – Monster procrastination

Procrastinating incites terror: that is both its seduction and its biggest trade-off. There was nothing more action propelling for 20-year-old Ana than working against time. And being able to hand in a complete paper to the professor just in time made me feel triumphant. Working against the clock gives me no thrill anymore but but it is good to keep our memory fresh. I’m a procrastinator in recovery, after all.

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Blogmas # 8 + 9 – On restoring creative fertility

Hustle culture is not a rest-friendly environment so I’ve never been proficient at taking down time. Then my body broke. Is a life without time for a walk in the park, to meet up with a friend, or to simply idle around with your loved ones, a life worth living? One thing I know for sure: idle moments are the most fruitful for creativity.

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Blogmas # 5 / 6 / 7 – On love, commitment & (in)hospitable environments for creatives

Each morning, I sit at this desk, wanting to write. And invariably, a small terror gets ahold of me. What if it doesn’t work? I prove myself wrong daily, and still, every single time, I sit down with a restless spirit that plots an escape to safer grounds. I often weigh on skipping my commitments, picturing how I’d feel if I didn’t honor them, and the scenario that comes up is horrid. I lived there long enough to know that that is a place I don’t want to revisit. Who sits down with me at the table of creativity? Who hijacks my progress? And what makes stay with it?

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Blogmas # 4 – Work with what is.

In theater school, the actors were often frustrated when they couldn’t get a scene right. They got angry, unmotivated. Sometimes they wanted to drop the part. The seasoned teacher wouldn’t want to suppress but guide the student in channeling their feelings to the role. “Use that! Use that!” I remember a gesticulating director throw at the stage. We do exactly the same in writing.

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Blogmas # 3 – Morning pages, un-edited

What I put on paper first thing in the morning can be so raw, so real, and I think that those qualities are what people connect to the most, rather than virtuous writing. Today’s offering is a transcript of my morning pages, the space where the chaotic and silly mind runs free.

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