Creative Journey

Unblocking my creative self with The Artist’s Way

“A course in discovering and recovering your creative self?” – it sounded self-helpy. A true artsy soul doesn’t need such a thing, I believed. I was *naturally* creative. In fact, creativity was the one thing I didn’t lack. It was not until I got stranded in confusion and corrosive self-doubt regarding my writing that I remembered the book. What was its name again? Something with “artist” on the title? Presumption had left me; I was in need of help.

by Ana V. Martins

Procrastination is a monster that knows me all too well. Routine, the antidote.

Procrastinating incites terror: that is both its seduction and its biggest trade-off. There was nothing more action propelling for 20-year-old Ana than working against time. And being able to hand in a complete paper to the professor just in time made me feel triumphant. Working against the clock gives me no thrill anymore but but it is good to keep our memory fresh. I’m a procrastinator in recovery, after all.

by Ana V. Martins

Three stories on love, fear, and coming out of the artistic closet

Each morning, I sit at this desk, wanting to write. And invariably, a small terror gets ahold of me. What if it doesn’t work? I prove myself wrong daily, and still, every single time, I sit down with a restless spirit that plots an escape to safer grounds. I often weigh on skipping my commitments, picturing how I’d feel if I didn’t honor them, and the scenario that comes up is horrid. I lived there long enough to know that that is a place I don’t want to revisit. Who sits down with me at the table of creativity? Who hijacks my progress? And what makes stay with it?

by Ana V. Martins

Work with what is – on commitment

In theater school, the actors were often frustrated when they couldn’t get a scene right. They got angry, unmotivated. Sometimes they wanted to drop the part. The seasoned teacher wouldn’t want to suppress but guide the student in channeling their feelings to the role. “Use that! Use that!” I remember a gesticulating director throw at the stage. We do exactly the same in writing.

by Ana V. Martins

A peek on my morning pages

What I put on paper first thing in the morning can be so raw, so real, and I think that those qualities are what people connect to the most, rather than virtuous writing. Today’s offering is a transcript of my morning pages, the space where the chaotic and silly mind runs free.

by Ana V. Martins

Routine, holy routine

I wake up earlier than usual. My first thoughts race around the commitment I made to post daily for one month, which makes me equal parts thrilled and terrified. Next rumination: another day of obnoxious weather. Still, I scribble three pages each morning, the touchstone of my creative process. Always at the same table, with a coffee on the side and cats in the horizon.